


The End

by buckychrist



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Post Infinity War, death mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-26 20:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30111843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckychrist/pseuds/buckychrist
Summary: After a long life, filled with pain as well as healing, Bucky Barnes wakes up in the great beyond. Now, Bucky must await his judgement to see if his afterlife will be filled with peace, or punishment.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 21





	The End

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I KNOW this sounds grim by the summary but i promise this is more fluff than it seems! This is based on the events that occurred in Infinity War. Please read and enjoy!

Bucky woke with a start.

He was on his back. No longer was he standing in the middle of a bountiful field, engrossed in battle. The sky was no longer a bright blue with only slight clouds, now a seemingly infinite black. He sat up slowly, expecting to be in pain, but he was not. In fact, he was pain free for the first time in as long as he could remember. 

A cement sidewalk was what he found himself lying on. The black sky seemed to continue on, as all he could see was the sidewalk, and some benches surrounding it. The ground surrounding the pathway was covered in bright green grass, the greenest grass he had ever seen. The machine gun that he had just been holding was gone. He was the only one nearby that he could see, and something about that made him slightly panicked. Slowly, he stood. A brisk breeze blew past him as he got to his feet. Part of him felt afraid, but another part of him was incredibly calm. Which was more calm than he felt he should’ve been in a situation like this one. 

Bucky took a look around, slowly spinning in place. There were no buildings, no houses, no people. There was, however, an abundance of plant life. Trees surrounded him. Flowers of all breeds bloomed in vivid technicolor, bringing something beautiful to an otherwise horrifying and mysterious place. Where was everyone? His team? The last he remembered, he was looking at Steve, and he had fallen. And the next thing he knew, he was here.

“Hello?” He called, his voice seeming to echo. After a moment of waiting, he got no response. He crossed his arms over his chest, feeling almost childlike as he began to pace the sidewalk. His feelings mimicked the ones of a toddler who had lost their parents at the grocery store. At first, he thought he shouldn’t try again. But after a moment of debate, he decided one more time wouldn’t hurt. 

“Hello?”

“Hello.”

A loud yelp left Bucky’s mouth as his feet left the ground. When he turned to the source of the voice, he froze. A cloaked figure stood before him, hands folded out in front of them. It was a white cloak, with the hood covering the figure’s face, passing the nose and only revealing the lower half of their face. Bucky’s mouth was hanging open in surprise.

“I- where-”

“Are you James? James Barnes?” The voice of the figure was dreamlike, one that would be recorded reading bedtime stories to help children sleep, or one ideal to soothe a person in panic. He already felt himself grow calmer than he was before.

“Yes,” He breathed. They smiled at him, something that would’ve felt less haunting had he been able to see their whole face. 

“Welcome, James.” 

Glancing around the surrounding area once again, Bucky bit his tongue for only a moment before speaking again.

“How do you know who I am? Where am I?” 

There was a long pause. When a sad smile formed on the bottom half of the figure’s face, Bucky swallowed hard to prepare for what he was about to hear.

“You’re dead, James.” 

Bucky felt like he went hollow as the words the figure said swept over him. Dead? How could that be possible? He was just looking at Steve, not under attack or any threat. Just looking at his best friend, and then he fell. And now he was here. His hands rose to his face, clamping down on either side of his head. None of this was making any sense. Nausea filled his stomach.

“But how?” He finally asked. The figure cocked their head to one side. 

“How unusual that we don’t know,” They said with confusion in their voice. “We suddenly have an influx of people who don’t seem to have a cause of death. They’re just...here. And you appear to be one of them.” Bucky felt like he was choking, as he tried to hold all of the emotions in his chest inside. The figure smiled softly. “Please. Take your time. This is a lot to take in. There is no need to repress. Not here. Not anymore.” 

That was all Bucky needed.

Dropping to his knees, he let out a loud sob. It was as if the dam that was holding him back had broken, and all of his emotions were running free. Tears streamed down his face as he fell forward, his arms catching himself from hitting the cold ground. All these years, he had evaded death. The fall from the train. His time with Hydra. Going on the run. He had outmaneuvered it for so long, and now it had finally caught up. What about Steve? Would he be okay? Would he be able to take it? Or what about- no. He couldn’t let himself think about that. His loud cries turned into soft whimpers as he began to calm down. The ground in front of him was wet from his tears, which he hadn’t realized were coming in such high amounts. After another moment of hyperventilating while staring at the ground, Bucky finally stood up, wiping his eyes on his sleeves before looking sheepishly at the figure. 

“Sorry.” The figure smiled kindly.

“No need. Everyone has their emotions when crossing over. Grief. Anger. We all must have our chance to feel.” He nodded, looking around unsuredly.

“So what now?” The figure side stepped to allow Bucky full view of the pathway ahead of him.

“Follow this path,” They instructed. “It leads to a gate, where you will be judged and placed.” Bucky blanched.

“Judged?”

“It will be decided where you will spend your time in the afterlife,” They explained. “Whether you deserve peace, or punishment.” The feeling in Bucky’s legs went away, leaving them feeling like jelly as the figure’s words began to process. The figure persed their lips. “Fear not, James. The ones doing the judging tend to be more forgiving than you would think.” 

I wouldn’t be so sure, he thought to himself. 

He looked between the never ending path and the figure, who was patiently waiting. Finally, after a few shaky breaths, he began to walk forward. One, two, three slow steps. 

“Good luck, James Barnes,” The figure said, in their dreamy voice. Bucky stopped, giving them a once over before nodding. He wasn’t sure what to say. Was there anything to say? 

He began to walk again. The steps he took were small, unsure. That small, childlike feeling he’d had earlier was still lingering, albeit less intense now. He stopped walking again and turned.

“How will I-” He started, but stopped when he found that the figure was gone, and he was alone once more. He felt cold, and fear began to return to him, but he pushed it away. There wasn’t anything else he could do but what the figure had said. Turning forward again, he began to walk once more. 

The thoughts in his head ran wild as he trudged on. The fact that he was… dead was still bewildering to him. He had always expected to receive a painful death, one brought on by battle or intense fight. But this wasn’t like that at all. One moment, he was there, and then the next, he was here. Where was the sense in that? He didn’t even feel dead now. Not really anyway. Shouldn’t he feel different? Eternal? Indestructible? He was, after all, a ghost now. But he still somehow felt like just an average man. 

He thought of Steve, and thought of the look of confusion and fear on his face just before he wound up here. Maybe his death was just as confusing to everyone around him as it was to him. 

He thought of his past. Of all of the horror that had occurred because of him. All of the bloodshed on his hands. The words of the figure echoed in his mind of the judges being more forgiving than he would think. How could that be possible, after all he had done? The body count he had was so high that he didn’t even know the exact number. Did he deserve mercy? Did he deserve anything but the punishment that was surely waiting for him? 

The walk seemed to go on for miles, and nothing had appeared. The flowers were still bright and lovely, the grass still green and vibrant. The infinite black still filled the sky. Bucky was blown away by how it was eerie, and yet somehow so beautiful. Not the worst place for one to be told that they had passed on.

After what felt like hours, but could’ve maybe only been minutes, something began to appear in the distance. From what he could tell, it looked like some sort of very large gate. Suddenly he felt very anxious, the nausea returning. It felt more daunting now that he could see the finish line, as opposed to before when it felt like he was just on a long walk. As the gate got closer and closer, he realized that there were what looked like four figures standing in front of it.

The judges.

His heart was pounding as he continued on. Part of him was tempted to stop, but where else would he go? What else would he do? Spend eternity in what felt like a glorified hallway? Would the one he met before even let him stay? He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out. 

The steps he took had to be forced. It almost felt like he had cement pillars tied to the bottom of his shoes. As he got closer, he realized the figures were cloaked as the one before was. He wondered which would be better; For him to be able to see their faces, or for them to remain hidden under the hood. 

He stopped about ten feet away. The four figures were in a single file line, their hands folded and waiting. He waited for one to say something, but none of them did. 

“James.”

The voice didn’t scare him this time as he turned to face the figure from before, who once again had appeared behind him. They took a few steps forward, so now they were next to him.

“These are your judges. They will decide if you should live your afterlife in peace or in punishment.” He nodded, his eyes jumping between the four people in front of him. The figure next to him continued. “Your judgement comes from the people you impacted the most. The one you were the kindest to. The one you were the cruelest to. The one whose life you saved. And the one whose life you ended.” Bucky swallowed hard. It would’ve been easier not knowing. But it was evident that he was about to find out exactly who all of his judges were, ready or not. He looked at the figure to his side.

“Do I get to see them?”

They nodded.

“In whichever order you choose.” 

He mulled that over for a moment. Would it be easier to see the good ones first? To remind him that there is good in him? Or would it be easier to see the bad ones first, like ripping a band aid? He breathed in deeply, filling his lungs up with as much air as he could and holding it for half a minute. When he finally released it, he turned to the figure. 

“Kindest first.”

They nodded before turning towards the figures ahead. The one to the far left took a step forward. Bucky’s hands shook as the figure lifted their own to unhood. When they were revealed, Bucky’s breath got caught in his throat.

“S-Steve?”

But it wasn’t Steve. Not anymore at least. The beard he donned as of late was gone, his hair now short. Bucky felt like crying as he stared at not Super Soldier Steve, but the Steve he had left behind when he went to war all those years ago. Bucky has grown used to Steve being the same height as him, but now here Steve was, back to having to look up at him. He was wearing the beige outfit with the suspenders that he was wearing at the Expo, the last time Bucky had seen Steve in this state, and not as a Super Soldier.

“Hey, Buck,” He said in the same familiar tone. Bucky swallowed all of the tears that threatened to fall. There wasn’t time for him to get emotional. Or was there? Time wasn’t really a factor anymore, was it?

After a moment of debate in his head of where to go next, Bucky sighed.

“The life I ended.” 

Bucky prepared for any of the rather large number of possibilities that could’ve been under that hood, but was completely unprepared for Howard Stark to be the cloaked figure. It wasn’t the old man he had killed in the car, but rather the young man he had seen at the Stark Expo the night before his departure to the war. Somehow, that made it worse. He was completely speechless as he stared at the man he once knew, who nodded at him.

“Barnes.” There was no animosity, no anger. How unjustified for him to speak to Bucky in any other way. 

“Stark,” He mumbled, unable to make eye contact. That was all he could handle. Anything else would just be too overwhelming. Before any other words could be exchanged, he turned to the figure next to him. “The life I saved.” 

The figure second to the right stepped forward. Bucky felt himself holding his breath as he waited for them to reveal themself. Nowhere in his mind could he place a person whose life he had saved, besides maybe Steve, but he couldn’t appear twice, could he? The mysterious figure seemed to be going in slow motion as they lifted their hands to unhood. 

Hiding under the large, oversized hood, was none other than you.

Bucky’s heart was in his throat. 

He couldn’t help but take a quick step forward as he said your name. You smiled so sweetly at him, like you always had. 

“Hi Bucky.” 

He found himself walking towards you, your magnetic force making it impossible not to. Can he touch you? He wasn’t sure. Should he test it? He wanted so badly to. 

“Are you…?” He trailed off, finding the mere suggestion of it unbearable, and found relief when you shook your head. 

“It’s impossible to explain how we’re here right now,” You said. “But no, I’m not dead.” He stared at you in awe, as he always did. This felt so familiar to him, you explaining something to him and making him feel less confused. Making him feel better.

He suddenly remembered what was taking place, and sheepishly took a few steps back. Although his eyes never left you. 

There was only one left. The person he was the cruelest to. He felt so exhausted now from all of the confusion, he didn’t think he could handle anymore. Was there a way to put this off until later, when he’s had time to process all that was happening? More than likely no, and he didn’t have the heart to ask. 

“When did I save your life?” He finally asked after much quiet. You chuckled, as if the answer were the most obvious one in the world.

“So many times,” You said. “More than I could ever tell you.” Your eyes were misty, and Bucky held in his inhale. “I was homeless. Living behind a dumpster. There were so many days I thought I wasn’t going to make it through the night. And then you came along, constantly dropping food in front of me. Cinnamon rolls, boxes of cereal, bags of apples and plums. I’m not even sure if you could afford it, but you made sure I ate too.” You took a long pause. “It was pure coincidence that I got a job working as Stark’s assistant and saw you again.” 

“Some coincidence,” He quipped, making you huff.

“I never believed in fate but now…” You looked up at the black sky, shaking your head. “Now I’m not so sure. Every attack on the Tower, every mission gone wrong, every misstep, you were there, pulling me out of the way and making sure I was safe. Every time.”

The words were bubbling in Bucky’s chest, as they had every time he saw you for so long. But he now knew that it was his last chance to say them. He took a deep breath.

“It’s because I love you.” 

The three simple words felt like a waterfall as they fell out of Bucky’s mouth, finally free and in the open. Months and months of denial and avoidance made the release all the more relieving.

The look on your face remained neutral, which calmed Bucky in no way. All you did was nod.

“I know.” 

It was the reminder Bucky needed that he wasn’t really speaking to you, just a version of you made by whatever this place was. Maybe even made by himself, if it was all in his head like he was starting to think it was. Even if you had returned the sentiment, it wouldn’t have been real. Despite that, he felt relieved that the words were said out loud. 

His eyes found the final hood. A sigh left him as he knew what finally had to be done.

“Last but not least,” He said, a poor attempt at humor. His eyes hit the floor for a few seconds, taking another deep breath in before he looked up again. “The one I was the cruelest to.” 

The final figure stepped forward. Bucky’s heart was pounding in his chest as he waited for the last final reveal. It was like they were going in slow motion as their hands reached up for their hood. 

And then the hood was down, and Bucky was gasping for air.

Standing in front of him, in all his glory, was himself. 

The look in the eye of this version of himself showed that it was him fresh out of Hydra’s clutches. Back when he was trying to figure out who he was and what had been taken from him. He had never realized it before this moment, but in reality, he had been cruel to himself during this time. The guilt from what he had done and the depression from everything he had missed from his old life had eaten him alive. It took him years to finally accept that none of it was his fault, that he wasn’t in control of himself and there was no way he could’ve helped it. And in the time it took for him to learn it, there was no one he hated more than the person he saw in the mirror every day. 

Bucky leaned forward, his hands on his knees as he felt like he was going to hurl. Every time he glanced up and saw himself, he felt the rush of emotion all over again. 

A hand pressed against his back, running up and down soothingly. When he looked up, he found the hooded version of you. 

“Take your time,” You said softly, as you would if it were actually you with him. Closing his eyes, he let his head drop down for another few seconds, before exhaling and standing up straight once more. You gave him a comforting smile. He didn’t realize your hand was still on his back until you pulled away, the absence now very apparent.

He wanted to say something to the cloaked version of himself, but he couldn’t. What was there to say? He took in the sight of himself. All he could think of was that he definitely needed a haircut. Who allowed him to go that long without one?

“What now?” He asked, turning to you.

“Now,” A voice that was not yours said from behind. It didn’t startle him this time as he turned to face the unknown hooded figure. “The judges will decide the fate of your afterlife.” Bucky said nothing, just nodding and turning away to face the four people in front of him. You had stepped away and rejoined the others. 

“You’ve lived a long life, Buck,” Steve began. “A lot longer than most.” 

“You’ve done a lot as well,” Howard continued, his voice making Bucky flinch. “Committed many horrible acts along the way.”

“But we know it wasn’t you,” The hooded version of him added. The real Bucky swallowed hard, his eyes taking a quick glance at himself before looking away.

“The real you is kind, and looks out for others always,” You began. “Always fighting for the little guy, and people who couldn’t fight for themselves. What happened to you for all those years was a tragedy, and you’ve punished yourself enough for it.” Your head tilted to the side. “You spent enough time in sorrow, Bucky. It’s time you’ve had some peace.” 

The tears began to fall long before the words had processed. 

Relief flooded Bucky, his hand covering his chest over his pounding heart as he began to hyperventilate. He didn’t know what to expect, but, like always, he had assumed the worst. The idea that he was now being told by someone bigger than himself that nothing was his fault and that he was forgiven made him feel so much at once. 

His eyes found you, and before he could stop himself, he was gravitating towards you. Grabbing your shoulders, he pulled you towards him and kissed you as passionately as he always imagined he would. Your hands dropped to his sides, holding him dearly as he brought one hand to your face. When he broke away, his cheeks burned.

“Sorry I-” His words fell away as he looked away from you, his hand reaching behind his neck. “I forgot you aren’t… you.” You shook your head.

“It’s okay,” You assured him. “I have a feeling that you’ll see me again soon.” He didn’t know what you meant by that, but he decided not to ask. 

He turned to Pre-Serum Steve, taking in the appearance of his long gone friend, his friend from before any of this happened. Hydra, The Avengers, the war, any of it. He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around him.

“I missed you.”

Steve laughed, but said nothing.

Bucky pulled away and turned to himself and Howard. A weight pressed against his chest every time he looked at them, but he knew he couldn’t leave without saying something. 

“I’m sorry.”

It was simple, but enough.

They both nodded at him, simultaneously opting to say nothing in return. He appreciated that. 

Turning to the host cloaked figure, he nodded at them.

“Thank you, for everything.” They returned the nod, stepping to the side as the gate behind them opened.

“Enjoy your peace, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky stared at the gates that waited for him, the anxiety filling him once more. Not for any reason other than just not knowing what he would find. The thought that it was supposed to be peaceful did make it somewhat better. He took one last look at his judges, you in particular, before facing forward and walking through the pearly white gates. 

Somewhere in the distance, Bucky heard laughter. The sky never changed colors, but his surroundings became less empty. Houses and streets appeared, as if he had wandered into some random small town as opposed to the afterlife. People were watering flowers, talking to neighbors, singing and laughing. He saw children at a park, running around and shrieking with joy. Bucky felt like he was in a utopian version of Earth. 

“MR. BARNES!”

Whirling around at the sound of his name, Bucky was greeted by Peter Parker, the spider kid he had met in Germany what felt like forever ago. Peter ran up to him, looking relieved to see him.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” He said quickly. “I was up in space with Mr. Stark- in SPACE!- and we were fighting Thanos! And then he disappeared. And it was all quiet and we didn’t know what was going on. Then suddenly we were turning to ash, and now we’re here! Did you fight Thanos too?” 

“I helped,” Bucky said, still processing everything the kid had just said. “He popped up in Wakanda with an army of space dogs. He snapped his fingers and then, poof. Suddenly I’m here.” He looked up in time to see Sam Wilson approaching, still in his Falcon uniform.

“You too, huh?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Bucky nodded, looking around. It was then that he noticed the other people around that he knew. T’Challa, Shuri, Doctor Strange, and several others that he recognized were gathered around, all speaking in hushed, confused tones. 

“You think this is a dream?” He asked Sam, who was watching Peter, who had just found his friends from school who had also appeared in this place. Bucky was watching them too. Something about watching them get excited and hug each other in glee made his chest feel full.

“I sure fucking hope so,” Sam replied. “Did you have to do that whole judgement thing to get here? I like to think I’m a pretty decent person who deserves peace, but man, that’s the most scared I’ve ever been in my life.” He paused for a second, tilting his head and looking down at the ground. “Or I guess, in my afterlife.” Looking at Bucky with a wide grin, all he got in return was a scoff and an eye roll. “That was funny and you know it.” 

“Whatever you say, Wilson,” Bucky torted. “But yeah, I had to do it too.” 

Sam leaned towards him.

“Get anyone good as your judges?” 

Your face crossed his mind, and he recalled the kiss once more. Maybe he wasn’t actually kissing you, but maybe you were right, and he would get his chance once again. 

“Oh yeah,” Bucky said. “Couldn’t think of anyone better.”


End file.
